you made me go cold inside all of a sudden.

blahh. i really hate my blog skin now. it's pretty ugly.
**

i went to monte's for lunch today with my dad and mom. HA HAA NO BROTHA AND SISTAAA.
teeheeee.
homg the food was so gooood. the buns. :D i love the bunss!!!!
corn soup, grilled chicken, ice cream. SET.

i feel pretty guilty today. i haven't done anything productive. except chinese tuition.
i didn't do ANYTHINGGG. D: seriously.
i watched annoying orange until i was annoyed. and.. i watched wimbledon.
kim clijsters losttt. ish :( i was hoping she'd be in the finals.
blah.
i think zvonareva will be in vs serena.
**

holycow i reallly hate myselfff.
**

wtefff. i wanna smash my head right in the wall.
i have no chance.
no chance at all.
nil. nada. zero. KOSONG.


just like the brains in my head.

oh oh. and ya know what? i'm feeling pretty lifeless and i'd like to remember my dreams. so i'm wakin up in the middle of the night just to remember them.

HEH.
i'm off to do maths.


the longinggg is killllllinnnnnnnn me.
i've said this once and i'll say it again.
she is stupid.

xx.

DON'T GO TO SCHOOL. SAVE PETROL.

rka day today. mom's collecting my rep card. lazy to go lahh. why go when your mom can collect it for you?! i slept in. HAHAHAH.
i'm alone at home nowww. bahahah.

omgs i tell you. waffles are the most sinful food on the planet. seriously. they are LOADED.
with carbs - all that flour, milk, and eggs.
with fat - ALL THAT BUTTER HOMGGG.
with sugarrr -HONEY.
god. two's my limit. then i'm full to the max.
**

eclipse eclipse eclipse.
twilight marathon.
**

according to gabriel, everyone came except audrey and me?
wow.
**

lol. encik narul is our form teacher. its really funny. since he hardly ever comes to class and he doesn't know a thing about us except maybe cheryl, michelle that group.
**

i want pmr to come fasttttt................................
**

being lala is tiring lol. i was talking lala with acap yesterday.
and i pretended being a lala who liked jun wai day before that.
FAIL LAH I TELL YOU.
like audrey saysss. makes me wonder how lala's pull it off every day. -_-
**

lalalala. i'm feeling high now. waffliessss. yummms.
**

should i cut bangsss.
**

lalalalla. bored like hell. dont wanna do chinese work. dont wanna study.
please please weather stay awesome. please dont rain im begging you.


bye lah. have to do chinese liao.



homgs please please don't say that he still hasn't moved on after all that. pleaseeeeee. oh god, no.

you get closer and there's nowhere in this world i'd rather be.

god i hate myself. it's pmr year and i still have time to update my two blogs.
goddammiit.
shit shit shittttt.
i feel like the laziest person on earth now. everyone. like EVERYONE is actually studying. gan ying can't go out, neither can mad. mad and eunice can't use the internet. and here i am. blogging away happily. well not so happy.
dammnnnn.
**

when i'm kissin you it all starts makin senseee.
*

screw you, brain. screw you, heart.
of all years, this year.
of all times, now.
when trials are a month away.

i think i'm just setting myself up for disappointment.
STUDY LAH ESTHER. STUDY.
DEACTIVATE YOUR FACEBOOK.
ASK MOMMY TO HIDE THE COMPUTER PLUGS.
DO IT.
DRASTIC TIMES CALL FOR DRASTIC MEASURES EH.
okay. i've decided.
i'm not gonna use the internet at all.
AT ALL.
AT ALL.
no lah. :/ weekends can.
nooo.
wait.
ONLY FIFTEEN MINUTES A DAY.
***

okay, i swear. i'm gonna get mommy to create a password so i can't get in.
sobsobs.
sob.
choke.


no guy that i ever met before, can make me feel so right and secure.

GO LISTEN TO IT. MIRANDA COSGROVE - KISSIN YOU.
IT'S REALLY ADDICTIVE. :)
IT KINDA FEELS LIKE IT'S LOVEEEEE.
IM JUST QUOTING STUFF. :D


bai bai blogger. bye facebook. bye msn. bye youtube (NOOO!!! ANNOYING ORANGEEE! D:)
hello reference books.

omg why ain't you replying? keep me hanging, that's what you do.

crystal clear it becomes.

i remember my dreams a lot these days. cause i wake up a lot in the middle of the night.
i don't know if it's a good thing or not.
shit shit shittt!!! why not replying dammit maybe i said the wrong thing shit shiiiiitttt.
breatheeeeeee.
*

ohmgs. dreams feel really real. sooo vivid. it feels like i can just reach out and touch it. so close.
i can almost taste it.
*

i've been studying.
i have.
*

oh god i want you so bad it hurts.

fmlfmlchinese.

i skipped school on friday. :) cause it was teacher's day. i'm sad that i missed out on the teacher's dancing and zi yoong singing. but IT'S OKAY.
cause I got to sleep in, eat roti canai WITH TEH TARIK (PWNS MILO ICE). :p
yezzzzzz. for the first time since hols i slept in.
**

anyways i have to keep telling myself to study ALL THE TIME. i wish facebook or the computer never existed. -_- then all of us would have better grades, yes?
stupid stupid facebook.
one month before trials i'm going to deactivate my facebook account.
YEA FO REAL YO!
**

cheryl cole is trying to copy the way lady gaga looks.
see her album cover.
**

ohmagosh ECLIPSE is coming out next friday. i'm like in two minds. should i go after school to watch it or should i stay at home? :S
i should becauseee. taylor lautner is hot.
i shouldn't because. pmr is coming. very very soonnnn.
HOW.
decisions decisions.. :D
jkjkk. i don't think i will. time spent drooling over taylor lautner would be better spent drooling over geography, yes?
okay. i will not. :(
BOOHOO.
**

i'm gonna sleep now. or SHOULD I STUDY.
shit mann.
i hate pmr.
:/

assdqerweFMLdfghjkl

babi babi babiiii.
in a real shitty mood now.
so yah eff off brother.
*

start studyin like a mad cow esther.
*

stoooopid.
stoooooooooooooopid.
ISH.

i love annoying orangeeee.
*

OOOOOOOOOH MY RESULTSSSSSSSSSSSS. ARE KILLINNNNN MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
i'm sooooo mad.
hoppin maddddd.

lalalalalaalallalaaaaaaaaaaaa.

first day of schoool.
BLAH. super BLAH.
i hate waking up early. really. honestly, once pmr is over, i'm gonna smash my alarm clock.
oh wait, it's already smashed and i don't even use one. -.-
gonna smash my phone. MUAHAHA.
school was cool today. it was awesome. cuz. we didn't do ANYTHING.
we got a few of our testpapers back today.
english, science, moral and pjk.
i'm so mad at myself for getting 78 for science. science. was the easiest subject.
and i can't believe i got a B.
im stupid yeah rub it in you mothersmartasses who got 90. :(
SHIZZIES I TELL YOU. not a nice way to start the day.
BLAHH.

malathi's big fat rant about our english as usual. blahdiblah tune her out.
*

ohmygoodness. you seriously better not be talking about me.
i did not even DO that.
what the hell. in case you didn't notice, YOU were the one who was acting all distant.
and hmm. let's see what else.
I had to text you a dozen times before you'd reply.
and yah.
idk wtfsh i did.
ok ok before i get ahead of myself you better not be meaning me.
geram sial.
*

craps. tomorrow. we have chinese class. wtfshbbq. that means we're getting our chinese paper back.
oh god. please. noooooo. :(
puay chai is wasting money like water.
i think the security guards wipe their asses with it.
*

i've watched a-team and toy story. :D
a-team is really awesome. go watch it. bradley cooper is HOT. and errrm. what else. YAH. HE'S HOT. and and the show is hilarious.
did i mentionn.
in the cinema, there was this guy sitting next to me and he had two plastic bags full of junk food. then during the show, he was laughing like a sakai. some bits weren't THAT funny but he'd still laugh like it was the end of the world. seriously. then he shut up cuz the girl in front of him turned around and said something to him i think his foot was jiggling against her seat when he laughed ahahaha. then halfway thru the show he ran out of junk food and he went out and bought some more. piggy. :)
surprisingly he's not FAT. kinda chubby but not FAT. high metabolism i guess.
toy story was awesome too. it was hilarious. really.
go watch it!!!!

i wanna see eclipse. hehehee. even though im not gonna like it i still want to!!! cause taylor lautner is serious eye candy and the director chris weisz said there are steamy moments in the tent! oooohh. mm. ;)
Lautner. heeeeheeee.
*

She's got love like woe. KAKA IS HOT.

i've been very very free. :)
not very. but free enough to browse youtube. hehee.
i'm addicted to
the ready set - soular flares, stays four the same, love like woe
you me at six - contagious chemistry
OMG. i love you audrey for telling me about the ready set. and i must thank loi too? cause he told her about the band.
THANK YOU. :)
agree with kim cherice pempengco is awesome.
*

DIDN'T GO OUT KARAOKE. :( boo.
babi. after pmr is months.
i could cryyy.
*

anyway our Nie project is still not even halfway done. :D haha.
we can never do projects together lah. always end up EATING. thanks to audrey and kimberley.
"ESTHERRR!!! CAN U HURRY UPPP......I'M HUNGRYYYYY......:("
yes. that's audrey.
the planning was a bit messed up (hehh. sorry py) BUT. the important thing was.
we all got there in the end! :)
*

went to vern's condo for cheryl's surprise party slash bbq party?
sabs mom fetched me there.
hung out at the pool with kim, aud, and sab. :)
we raped audrey. HAHAHAAAA.
*

what else. if i don't get in mssm next year i think i might just DIE.
*

omgwtfbbq. holidays passed by wayyy too fast. there are only.. THREE more days till school starts. back to pn grace, ravi, CHINESE CLASS WITH CHICKEN LITTLE, bm classes with that freaky vamp teacher, boring geo with kamal and godknowswhatelse.
Arrrghhhhhhh.
If i don't watch a movie in the next three days, idc, i'm going out during the schooldays.
*

GAHAHA I DON'T BELIEVE THIS I'M ALMOST DONE WITH OUR HISTORY PROJECT.
this is so unlike me.
ahaha.

lol mom i've said this so many times. i just don't fit in with the youth in my church.
i don't know why. so you understand why when i say i don't want to go to youth with them right. and it's just awkward for me to go to church. i find it awkward. i don't talk to anyone there except maybe a tiny handful of people from youth i know. i mean. we haven't been going for ages. and then aunty amy invites us to her place for dinner and she texts us when there's going to be an event in church or she calls you up regarding some youth outing or event.
it's just soo. pai seh to go to church cause we only go when there's an event.
you all feel normal but i don't. i always feel out of place and uncomfortable there.
i feel very self conscious of myself there. like i'm in a spotlight or something.

when are they going to realize that i just don't want to participate? i feel pretty idk about it. like everyone around me enjoys their youth and everything -.-

.

everything's fuckin upside down now.
find this find that. discuss this discuss that.
god i need to take a breather.
FUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wish everything could just work out smoothly.
i understand how you feel. kind of. a tiny bit.

:)

hell yeah you can do just that.

tournaments.

OKAYYY. FIRSTT. i have to say that i've never been blacker in my entire life except maybe the time i went to bali.
lolll. i was being really retarded that first day. ahaah. went to bsc for dinner. then at the washroom. i kept hitching up my skirt higher to display my tan line. cause it was really hilarious and i couldn't stop laughing.
:) yeah i was crazy. SUE ME.

I SAW DARYL GOH THERE!!! IMY. :)
erm erm yeah yeah i saw corneill!!!! hahaahahahaaha. wootsiees mannn.
walao. spazpen is more like it. ;DDD goddd.


lazy to give blow by blow account. i was against this girl called zamaera she was really nice. and she looked damn damn confident. like. she talked with a loud voice. and she dressed like those tennis players. with those matching top and all.
so i was a lil worried.

then in the evening i was playing against this girl called wong sue may LMFAO MAN.
goddamn tired mann. i mean i was leading 40 then i let her win two games. -.-
damn frus. and summore. the mom was standing there. and CLAPPING WHENEVER I MADE A MISTAKE. I was like thinking "wtf? not your daughter hit winner also kan." -.-
it continued for a while lah. the two games i lost. she kept shouting YEAH or COME ON! whenever i hit out. _|_
then her mom went to talk to my mom. haahaha. standing next to my mom also shout you know. the mom melampau man.

so i got in the semis and i was playing against akshara ramesh.
OMFGGGGGG. she is like a hundred times better than me. and double my size.
and she's my age.
obviously i lost. :)

doublesss. we beat zamaera and someone else 84.
then in the finals we were against akshara again. lol.
obviously. we lost. :)
nvm. got medal got ranking points and got free milo.
HAHA.
*

conclusion? time for serious shit training.
i don't care what it takes. i'm going to train and train and train and train until i get in sukma next year.
but. all the under 14 players all coming to under 16. shizz.

it was a good experience.



I WON CHERYL COLE'S ALBUM.

.

lots to blog about.
been busy as hell latelyy.
mid term exams are over.
dunno why people yellin like crap. i mean. LOL. it's not even spm or pmr for that matter. and there's still end year exams. lmao.
so so ding dong ding dongg.
errrm. the bed felt extra extra nice yesterday night. :D
soft and cuddly. heeeheee.
i had to drag myself off the bed.
like i just crawled onto the floor and dragged myself to the switch.

bm is screwed.
went to mcd's after school with kim gan ying audrey and sab.
we laughed like hell. at this poor guy from usci college.
raising awareness for downs syndrome lmaoo.
hilarious hilarious hilarioussss!
had oodlies of fun with sabrina ooi xu peng! peng peng. :DDD ur name has tons of nicknames you know.


anyways there's some freak on fb talkin to me. -.-


sabrina's going for kapas tomorrow. have fun dear.
madeleine's going to china soon. idk when. have fun and take care dear.


oh yeah went for the creative writing competition thingy today with eunice sab and madeleine. my story was as cheerful as a funeral.
the topic was A Sound.
-.-
well my story was something like thisssss.
i hated my popular sister. we had a fight when i found out she was aneroxic. i grabbed a knife. i murdered her. i ran away. i killed myself.
happy ending.
total epic phail.

got some milo thingy again tomorrow. maybeee i'll get to see wen yang play.
i hope hope hope corneill spaapan is there. <3

mhmm. holidays.
studying. i don't see much chance of the retards going out during the hols.


*Draws apart the curtains "OOOOOHH UNDERWEAR! SHIT!" *closes curtains.
HAHAHAHAHA.
"so sorry you had to pick my bra off the bed."
heheheehee.
"WHY ARE OUR OVARIES SO WEIRDLY SHAPED?" AHAHAHAA.

im going to sleep now. toodle oo.

.

totally pooped out.
i shall say this in one breathhh.. here goessss.
i was supposed to wake up at 3 to do my projct and study geografi but tak jadi idk what happened then when i came home from school straightaway shower makan then go tuition then straightaway go tennis two whole hours then straightaway drive to bm tuition then on the way grab dinner eat until stomach bao bao then was half an hour late to tuition but teacher didnt do much so i didnt miss out on anything then i came home all smelly and sticky then i showered and then i had to do my stupid geografi project and here am i now.


omfg. i knw sejarah was easy and shit but im not gettin an a.
fishity fish.
oh my godddd. chinese.
errrm.
yeah.
aghhh!