ohhh emmmm geeeeeee.

going out to shahla's place for dinner later? this time with a lot more people.
dad's birthday is tomorrow.. mom's birthday is coming soon.
i spent the whole day yesterday and almost a half day today doing their cards.
clap claps.

blogger is a bitch lah wey.
still can't friggin change fonts.

maybe i wouldn't admit this to anyone. but i'm damn worried about pmr.
fricking worried.
i'm so damn worried i'm gonna get only 1A for english.
not very comforting.
SHITTT.
i'm so worried i won't get an A for history. which i can if i use my brain but unfortunately am to lazy to do so. (CURRENTLY). in the next few months my poor brain will be totally fried. people say i have a good memory. sure.
what if i don't get an A for bm?
i know my good friend kuok ren would say "PMR ONLY? CHIU".
he's such a self-assured overconfident bastard sometimes. but i miss him. :)
AAAAAAAAARGH. he laughed at me when i said i was worried about pmr. D:
that cheers me up, TKR.

i need to talk to himm. but.. shits. it's not going right.
i dunno. how it all started was because i thought that he was ...
now i don't know. arrghh. i want to scream in his face. "I LIKE YOU DAMMIT."
mmmph. :(
i don't knowww.
i'm not sure i want to know.
but i do. oh i do.

in my head is stuck in my head, they play it all the timeee.

I see it going down, going down, in my head.

TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH JUSTIN BIEBER. I MEAN HIS SONGS.
anyways. I was busy the whole day making cards for mom and dad.

I'm not going for the leo MCC tomorrow. :( whatthecrap man.
nevermind. instead i might be going to sunway to shop with the roxy voucher. mwah hwah hwah.

by the way, S is a bitch. a serious bitch.

we were so mad in school on thursday.
played some stupid "huo che huo che tut tut tut, ni yao qu na li?". i know, it sounds REALLY REALLY DUMB, but the truth is, it's really hilarious when you play it with hilariously retarded people. who are struggling to find words. it was utter laugh-till-you-cry situation.
like.. "wo yao qu encik R de jia ran hou sha si ta".
"wo yao qu xx de jia ran hou sha si ta ran hou ba ta de na-ked shi ti gei xx kan ran hou something something"
"wo yao qu italy chi something something".
I WON IN THE END. MWAH HWAH HWAH. and the last three contenders, me mad and py, our last fingers were middle fingers. coincidence?

ANYWAY. THE REAL PUNCHLINE IS. WE WERE PLAYING A CHINESE GAME.

i won a fly fm goodie bag. and i have no idea what's in it.
LOL.

volleyball or house practice (I'm not even sure which myself -.-) was damn good today. because.. the very very hot xxx was at the same court as us. oo la laaa.
damn hot.
HOT.
PANAS.
HANGAT.
HEN RE.
yum yum.

wah liao. all obsessed with xx. omg. now i suddenly feel that xx is a slut.

At Genting now.

Using the computer. Hoped to change blogger fonts and layout here but failed. it's still the same as my old one. cacat.

i have a fackin blister on my thumb. scratchthat. i have about 3 blisters. only one is really huge and gross and has burst about five times due to playing tennis. is it cause of my grip or what. i tak tau. two hours and i got 3 blisters. GROSSSS.
it burst. then i squeezed it. and all those yelowish pus came out. anyways. the plasters here cost 40 CENTS. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. BLOODY RIPOFF.
soo. what i'm doing now is waiting for this loser lala boy who has been using the other comp for about.. let's see. 5 hours? i wanna use that comp cause that has speakers. and i wanna listen to katy perry and timbo. SCREW THAT FARKING HOGGER WEIH.
ughhh.
bro sis dad swimming. i hate the pool here cause it's usually filthy cos of tons of ppl. but there aren't many ppl so it's pretty clean. and i don't have my swimsuit with me.
so my mom's downstairs. STUPID GUYYY. ARRGHHHH. he keeps looking in the mirror in front of him you know. cause there's a miror in front of the screen.
vainasspot.
he's listening to some korean jack fack now.
ARRGHH.
AND I CAN'T LOGIN FACEBOOK FOR SOME DAMN RAESON.
shit shit. this girl just walked past me and she's wearing the most fabulous skinny jeans.
mmphh.
:(

oh god. what's wrong with this guy. the lala dude is hogging the other comp. and there's this indian couple who keep walking near me and lookin at my comp screen.
no seriously. get lost.
omg, the indian couple's taklign to the lala boy!!! omg. wtf,. wtf.
HAHAHAHAHHA.
the couple was like. "english....."something... english"
HAHAHA.

anyways not going aape thingy today. :(

I AM BACK FROM P.D. THE AWESOME BEACH.

P.D. may not have the most awesome beaches ever but. it's still the beach.
and i love the beach.
anywayys. supposed to go a day earlier. but went the next day instead cause everyone was exhausted from dinner the day before.
my dad actually gave the boo sign for my leona lewis CD. i was like. whattheheck?? like. after two songs. i went like, mom could you turn it up a bit louder can't hear well. then she pointed at my dad and did the thumbs down sign. THEN WE SWITCHED TO. LANG LANG. some china pianist lah. he's damn good. but SO NOT THE MOOD FOR GOING TO THE BEACH. arrghs. daddy will never change.

everyone said the weather was fab. by "FAB" they mean that it wasn't hot. it was just nice. there was no sun. all shade.
the point of the beach, dears, is to have SUN. right??
the sky was a miserable shade of gray. unlike the last time, it was blue. maybe i'm disappointed because it doesn't create nice background for pictures.
all of us played beach volleyball. awesome. :D
no we did not build sandcastles. or pick seashells.
we did, splash saltwater in each others faces. gross.
my brother tried to wipe his eyes on my boardshorts cause i wasn't wet yet.
double gross.
yada yada yada we had fun.
i got a new bikini. from umi. hearts and kisses babe i love you muchs.
HA AHAHAAAA.
wait. i got TWO. one is the bandeau bikini. and another is a nike swimsuit.
HA AHAHAHAHA. omgggs. xoxox
i can't ask for a new swimsuit now. :X

arrgh pooop weih. i give up trying about J.
mmphhh. :(:(:(
i don't want to. T_T
but do i have any choice?

pleas unheard. guess it's not my time or my chance.
if not now, then when?
how is it then some other people have it so easy?
:((((

Hey.

Happy CNY and Valentines.

zomgs. i'm so bored. reunion dinner yesterday was awesome.
em em. i'm bored?
waiting to go to aunts house.
bloody fly fm website. can't log in to the fun facts thing.
plus bloody blogger sucks. can't upload new stuff.

in a total suckish mood now. cny's not all that great.
people say they like the money part.
i say i like the food part.
how is it that some people get RM 1K for their ang pau.

bright side of today is.
i'm going to meet a hot spanish guy.
LOL.
yeah i can't wait. he's only 15 years old. and he's got betapa piercings. i have a feeling he would get along well with madeleine.
he's got a lip piercing and four ear piercings in one ear and an eyebrow piercing and tattoos. wait wait. i think he has nipple piercings too.
erm. maybe i'll check first.
hmm. SO NOT my type. nevermind.
he'll be like pete wentz. cute.


argghh.
arrrghhh.
i wanna go SHOPPANNNGGG.
the malls are SOO empty right now. perfect time to shop. except.
everyone's at their respective kampungs.
phshh. except me.

Hey soul sister.

I LUB THT SONG.
anyways. ROXY VOUCHER JUST CAME IN THE MAIL. ROXY HERE I COME.

stuff i need. erm. want. :D
1. grey, pink, black skinny jeans.
2. gladiator heels.
3. wedges. my wedges are falling apart. :(
4. high top sneakers. (EE VERN.)
5. green nail polish.
6. suspenders.

LOL. yes lah. i have no life. get over it.

stuff i am going to do after pmr. (i know, really really dumb, but who cares. don't tell me you've never thought of it before)
1. go to sungei wang/sunway.
2. paintball.
3. SKYTREX OMG. OMG. SKYTREX!!!
4. go karting.
5. go to the sunway theme park.
6. movie marathons.
7. sleepovers.
8. barbeques.
9. the usual mucking around and camwhoring like there's no tomorrow.

i almost wish pmr were here just so i could do all these things.
heh.

cny eve is tomorrow. and also valentines day. gosh.
arrghhs. i wish i could just get up the guts to ask. but that's wrong.
i'm gonna get heartburn. i meant heartache. this is a total waste of energy, right?
i never have any luck. this sucks.
anyway. on the bright side. i got leggings, a nice shirt, and another nice shirt. total is RM 50. even better was. mummy paid. cause cny stuff. HA DI HA HA.

Hello world. I love you.

first ups.
thursday. thursdays and fridays are the best best days of the week.
but thursday was the best ever. cause...
IT WAS MADELEINE THE HAMSTER'S BIRTHDAY!!!
the plan was to forget her birthday. i came to school and i didn't wish her. then turned out everyone wished already, including audrey who told us to forget her birthday. SHEESHIES. so feeling a bit dumb, i said happy birthday :).
we walked to kayu in the scorching sun. ALMOST EVERYONE had indomee and air limau.
waliao. burn a hole in my pocket weih that lunch.
then we walked to sahara SLOWWWLYYY. camwhored like nobody's business.
LAZY PHUAY YEE HASN'T UPLOADED THEM YET!
at sahara we cut the bloody huge cake.
and madeleine got her hamster.
not to be braggy or any
thing, but i helped her name the hamster. TEEHEE.
i lub the hamster.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADELEINE TEE CHENG MEI!
have so many pictures with you so won't upload 'em.
i never thought i'd be best friends with you and audrey. before i met you, i thought you were a bitch cause you hung out with hui yan (i changed my impression of you and huiyan already. :D). but it turned out you were really really retarded, sweet, adorable, and totally nuts.
i'm sorry if i ever annoyed you or pissed you off.
the room always feels quieter without you around.
i love you babe.
stay sweet and tiny.
HEEEHEEE.


i'm flying high cause i just bought a load of stuff out of amour.
i'm really confused about j. seriously. it would be so much easier if we could have our thoughts in speech bubbles over our head.
like "i fancy you". or "i don't fancy you".
what if it turns out i'm wasting my energy?
oh no it's too painful to consider. it must work out. it has to.
pleaseeeee.

it's a monday. a moody monday.

mondays get me down. really get me down. but halfway through the week i know i'll be laughing my arse off. UNTIL MONDAY COMES AGAIN.

i was really worried about monday. about sab and about the other three. like i wasn't sure how to face the other three after what they thought about me.
it's just weird you know. i actually had butterflies walking in the school gates.
i sometimes wish i could be like her. she's the ice queen. nothing ever fazes her.
she isn't perfect. but she's cool.
i know that you can't please everyone all the time. but it's still kinda a shock to find out what other people actually think about you.
i think i'm just realizing how two-faced some people can be.

you know what.. almost every time i think "i wish i could read minds" i experience some weird rush of deja vu.
that always happens to me. inevitably in some situations i'll find myself thinking "i wonder what ran through that person's mind when they saw me or when i said that"
i really want to knowwww what people are actually thinking.
curiosity doesn't kill a cat like me.
that'd put an end to two-facing bitches in this world, wouldn't it?

i really tak tau what j thinks bout me now. seriouslyy. see that's why i'd give anything to have a shot inside his brain.
MMMPPHH. i'm faint with longing.
i really have to know what j thinks of me. ohhmygodddd.
a simple "hi" or "nite sweet dreams" works wonders.
it leaves me speculatinggg. wait, maybe that's not a good thing.
i hate not knowing. i hate not being in control.
so what. say what you want about me.
somehow i have to try and try to not care what people think about me.
it's hard.
i wish i could feel confident about myself.

thinking about j i feel light headed. am i being muddle headed me?
this is the first time i'm actually going headlong into this without thinking much about it. like thinking about how i'll make it work.
ting ting fairy godmother to the rescue.
dont say im head over heels cause im not. i guess im. close to head over heels.
and i honestly can't explain why. i'll try.
one reason i think it's right. because i never feel this way so easily.
the last time this happened i was practically CONNED. and the end result was me feeling really confused and pissed off. plus a jumbled up tangle of emotions.
which i HAVEN'T completely sorted out yet.
and i was left feeling, LITERALLY, like a fool. like a confused pedestrian who read all the signs wrong.

i think j could be the one to actually snip all those jumbled up emotions away for me. a fresh start.
i'm being overly dramatic i guess.

IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE THAT MEAN THE MOST.
:)
LIKE A SMILE.

I just haven't met you yet. :)

Hmmmm. so now you're saying that you were pissed because you get pissed easily?
Ok ok i thought you asked me then you went back and spewed out that post.
but but fyi. you already asked me a few times whether i consider you as my best friend. and i've said yes. that was... when that thing happened between you and the one sitting next to you.
when you say "i have kim". you forget that she has matt, and currently another half of the other sex. everyone knows you have to share best friends.
yea i get it when you say that you would've been a joke if you considered someone as your best friend and the person didn't. yeaahh. but that's not the case here. :)

yeah apology accepted.

plus. i wasn't really planning on smiling and laughing like nothing happened today. BUT you smiled. so i smiled back. ANDDDD... chemistry happened..
you know.. the retard chemistry that even einstein can't figure out.
or was einstein physics?
whatever.

ANYWAYS. I SURPRISED MYSELF TOO. HAHAHAHAHA.

Kiss and Tell.

OK. was thinking how the hell should i say this. face to face or what? decided on blog. nevermind. if you don't read this then I'll do it face to face.

"Oh, and I just found out everyone is having problems. Fine. Go ahead. Hate God. And say that you're not sorry. FINE. Fine, you pissed? What makes you think that WE ARE NOT I AM NOT PISSED TOO? I'm pissed, because, you said you were pissed at the world. Your friends. God. And so on so forth. MIND TELLING ME WHAT DID I DO WRONG? I think I fall under the 'friends' category right?"

FIRST, EXACTLY WHAT ARE YOU PISSED AT NOW.

YOU PISSED AT ME CAUSE I COULDN'T EXPLAIN WHY I WAS PISSED WHEN YOU ASKED?
I SERIOUSLY COULDN'T REMEMBER. I TOLD YOU ALL THAT. YOU THINK I'M LYING IZIT?
I say cannot means CANNOT la. I already explained to the best of my ability part of the reason which was J.


hmm. so you are pissed with me because i wrote i hate god in that post? and because i said i'm not sorry i'm pissed at Him? is that what you're mad at? me saying that?
regarding the line where you said "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT I AM NOT PISSED TOO?"
YOU'RE PISSED AT ME BECAUSE I SAID I'M PISSED AT THE WORLD???
is that a valid reason? you don't get pissed at people just cause they say they're mad at the world.
how can you be pissed at me just because i am pissed??????

PLUS, i never said i was the only person pissed. I NEVER SAID I WAS THE ONLY PERSON PISSED.

by the way. when i wrote i'm pissed at everthing. including friends. god. etc.
why do you have to be so smart and think i'm referring to you???
You assume way too much. i wasn't thinking of you.
I WAS PISSED AT EVERYTHING BECAUSE I WAS PISSED. DOESN'T THAT HAPPEN SOMETIMES? YOU JUST HATE EVERYTHING.
AND FYI, I WASN'T REFERRING TO ANY OF YOU.
You guys are awesome people and I wouldn't just get mad for no reason. AND THERE IS NO REASON.

you think bestfriends dont exist lah now? and you say that we don't tell you any BULLSHIT that's going through our lives??
what the fuck are you talking about.
i'm guessing that you don't count me as a bestfriend. since you say bestfriends don't exist. except for your darling DJ.
fine. sorry lo. sorry i didn't live up to your expectations as "best friend".
i considered you as mine. it's very encouraging to know that you think bestfriends don't exist.

i still don't get it. why would you get so worked up about this?

.

i just read your blog.





you surprise me.



you think best friend's don't exist?
Fine then.




***

LOL.

LOL. ignore the previous posts. -.-
I can't even remember what I was mad at. At ahem.

and.. (thinks of something to say)
TODAY IS SATURDAY. and i went to school. LOL. i know. LOL.
need I even say that it was boring?
okkk. my blog is gonna go balls-up soon.

cupcakes! courtesy of ee vern and loi.
gave me and audrey total sugar rush. and so we got high.
sugar is kinda like ecstasy. i guess. not like i've tried ecstasy before. -.-
but i guess the effect is the same. swaying. talking dumb stuff.
TRYING TO GIVE US DIABETES AR YOU GUYS??:DDD
joking. :D
I ATE THREEE. greedy me. audrey too. HA HAAA.

errrmmm.
hmm.

wanna quote something from someone's shirt.
"DONT LIKE MY ATTITUDE? DIAL 1800-EAT-SHIT"
hahahahaahaaaah.